How To Kill Sakura
by Princess Schatje Dreamer
Summary: PhelpstwinsandElftwins requested I kill Sakura when I offered to off someone for her... So, here we go. Could be considered Second in Series...


**How to Kill Sakura**

Sakura was walking home in a daze. _Orochimaru was dead. All they had to worry about was Akatsuki. And Sasuke… Sasuke… Would he be coming home? She could picture it now, he would come, trudging through the gates, he would spot her, and he would look deep into her eyes, as if searching her soul to find the truth… He would finally see that she loves him, and always would… And then he'd kiss her, and sweep her off her feet and take her to a land far, far away…_

As she was walking, she managed to attract trouble. She walked into a bar, she walked into a tree, she got Tora the cat stuck to her (Tora attacked as she thought that Sakura would be obliging to pet and scratch her like she did in her genin days), and she barely missed walking into an open manhole… Basically, she was so wound up in her fantasy, and consequently was ignoring everything that happened around her.

This, as it turned out, was a mistake.

**~*&*~**

Oto was in an uproar, their Fearless Leader™ had been killed by some upstart Konoha hunter nin! Preposterous!

… And more then that.

They had no purpose anymore.

Orochimaru was the planner. He was the leader. He was the one who knew what to do.

Why?

Because he never confided in anyone.

Which means that they didn't know what he wanted to do, his grand schemes, nothing.

They were just left behind, without their Fearless Leader™.

With his untimely death, everyone in Oto was left to flounder like a fish out of water… Only, you know, with kunai and other sharp objects… And ninjiutsu…

Oh dear.

**~*&*~**

"We must act quickly!" said a random person. "Those Konoha scum won't be expecting us to do anything so soon after our Leader's demise, so we must act now, before it's too late!"

And because they were sheep (1), following blindly, everyone cheered loudly and set off immediately for Konoha. They would have their revenge!

**~*&*~**

Tsunade was woken up from her drunken stupor as one of her ANBU rushed in, his chakra fluctuating wildly.

"Wazzit?"

"Hokage-sama, we have a problem," answered the ANBU somberly.

"Hunh?"

"The Oto forces are attacking in revenge of Orochimaru's death!"

"… Oh. Okay. Get the Konoha Twelve to deal with it… I'm going back to sleep…" Tsunade snored. Loudly.

The ANBU sweatdropped….

**~*&*~**

Battles can be described in one word; messy.

I mean, there's people killing people, blood and guts flying, the sounds of metal clashing, bones being broken, intermittent screams of "YOUTH!!", the roar of the elements being used…

It's just not really conductive to a pristine appearance, ya know?

And that is what Sakura stumbled on, the battle between the Konoha and Oto forces, one fighting for wounded pride and the other a desire to protect.

She was shocked out of her Sasuke-induced daze as a large ball of flame came speeding towards her. She quickly dodged to the side and sought out who it was who nearly charred her.

Her breath caught.

Sasuke was here!

_Here_!

Outside Konoha!

This was her chance!

She ran towards him, dodging flung kunai and shuriken, the occasional stray elbow, fist and leg, all in the pursuit of reaching her one true love! _Yatta!_ _Love will conquer all!_

She flung herself bodily into the arms of her beloved, and he-!

All who had turned to follow the streak of pink froze. Everyone else noticed this and instead of taking advantage, they too froze.

It rivaled the sunset genjutsu Gai and Lee used.

It was so horrifying it goes beyond words.

… *Shudder*

**~*&*~**

Sasuke looked down at his once team-mate and friend who he held securely in his arms. _Oh god. Oh god ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod… I'm holding Sakura. Shit. How do I escape? Oh god. She's looking at me with teary eyes. Dobe, where are you when I need you! Okay, that didn't work. Oh boy, I need to think. Think think think think think _think_ Sasuke! What would be the best way to get her out of your way temporarily? Hey look, is that Hinata? Wow, she's grown. … Hinata. _Hinata. That's it!

Without stopping to give this a second thought -hey desperate times call for desperate measures, after all- he leaned down to do something he _never_ thought he'd do.

**~*&*~**

Tsunade was reading another report that was the result of the skirmish which had been fought and won by her loyal ninja_. Paperwork, I hate you. No, no. that's too mild. I hate you … With all the passion of __a hundred burning suns_. She glared at the piles of reports and forms she had yet to go through. Luckily, her killer-intent didn't set it all alight. Hey, it would just create _more_ paperwork!

She heaved a big sigh.

_I can't win can I? …_

She skimmed through a report… **The kunoichi in question (Haruno Sakura, special jounin, aged 18) seemed to suffer a heart attack during the skirmish outside of Konoha's walls. We are unable to say what caused the heart attack itself as there are no visible wounds, and all of the survivors refuse to speak of it. Furthermore, we are seeing signs of trauma in our other patients, the likes of which usually only occur after someone is caught unawares by Gai and Lee…**

Curiosity peaked (Sakura was her apprentice, after all, and made of quite strong stuff), Tsunade called in someone who she knew would answer her. Whether he wanted to or not was besides the point…

"ANBU, get me Uzumaki Naruto"

"Hai, Hokage-sama."

Minutes later a shaken blond entered her office.

"Naruto, care to explain how it is that Sakura died?"

"It… it was horrible."

She raised a slender eyebrow.

"Sasuke was there… then Sakura… Sakura launched herself at him…"

"Aaand?"

"… And then he kissed her." It was barely a whisper.

She stopped.

Blinked for a bit.

"_Oh_."

"… Yea. '_Oh_'."

"… Dismissed."

The younger blond gave a shaky nod and disappeared in a poof of smoke.

_Well,_ she thought rather amused; _I thought it was only Hinata who fainted and was embarrassed to an extreme degree when around her crush…_

**~*&*~**

**The End **

**~*&*~**

(1) I have nothing against sheep. Their wool is really useful in keeping us warm. I love my sheepskin boots. I also like lamb meat. I do quite like them. Then again … _I have to_. I live in New Zealand. The sheep outnumber us humans something like 10 to 1. And as a point of interest; Have any of you ever seen the movie "Black Sheep"? Yea… Don't. At least, not if you live on a farm or ever want to come here… You have been warned.

Hey all, a friend/stalker/fellow writer (**PhelpstwinsandElftwins,** I hope you're amused…) suggested I kill Sakura, so hey, here we are. About 40 minutes work this time =)

If you have anyone you want me to kill, ask, and I'll see what I can come up with… doesn't have to be in Naruto… though no promises I'll know enough about the fandom to do anything… then again, you _could_ fill me in on details ^^

And yes, I am shameless. :D


End file.
